8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
