i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
