I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
