I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
