had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
