put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
