Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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