i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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