I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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