one two three fourrrrnication!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
