So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
