Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
