Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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