He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
