it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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