Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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