Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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