your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
