Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
