I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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