Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
