that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
