sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
