windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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