So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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