PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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