she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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