Whod you bang
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
