He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
