I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
this is an emotional support booty call
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
