I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
