If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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