D3 body, D1 cock
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
