You made me cry and you don't even care
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
