and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
