i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
