No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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