Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
