my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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