i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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