Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
