we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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