That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
