at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
