1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
