I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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