dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
