I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
