we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
