i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
